I’m not quite sure whether I should admit this or not, but lately I have taken up a slightly embarrassing hobby. Listening to podcast after podcast, signing up for email newsletters and grasping at each opportunity for free content that comes my way.

I’m into self-help.

Dave manages to (mostly) mask an eye-roll each time I produce a convenient pithy quote for every challenge he is going through, feigning a sense of interest when I unleash a summary of the latest insight that has changed my life.

He’s very longsuffering.

Who knows whether this started over two months ago when I finally became brave enough to step into sobriety, choosing to face the emotions I had been suppressing for so long. Perhaps it was when I began to meet with my Spiritual Director – spending moments suspended in a place where everything that was a muddled blur suddenly seems to zoom out and then snap into sharp focus again. Maybe it was my foray into meditation, which I still practice twice daily, having continued to notice considerable gains in energy, focus, health and wellbeing.

Or perhaps I should blame Rachel Hollis.

It was the day of the Polish Feast and I was savouring the wonderful beauty of being able to just cook and prepare for the occasion without a million requests for snacks and attention. I put on a podcast, began chopping and stirring and somehow stumbled upon this interview. Having never heard of Hollis before, I had no idea what to expect, but the passion and energy she oozed was so compelling and tangible.

Her message is simple, really. That women everywhere make far too many excuses for not being able to follow their dreams, and that these excuses really don’t cut it any more. She challenges all of us not to settle, not to let the opinions of others hold us back, not to consider our own paths selfish, but to reach for greatness, to figure out what we want from this one, wild, precious life and go for it.

It isn’t really a message you often hear in motherhood.

So often the pressures of life are far more of a priority than figuring out our dreams. The dishes, basket-loads of laundry, ‘muber’ service that we perform for the kids, making sure everyone has clothes in the right sizes, a balanced meal to consume and that they have done their readers for that day… it can be relentless, exhausting, even maddening at times.

And I’m not saying we can’t find meaning in providing these important roles for our families, or that being an amazing mother isn’t enough. But, if you find yourself drowning your sorrows in a large glass of wine every night (like I did), or binge watching every Netflix show you can get your hands on… maybe it’s time for a re-evaluation.

I know in my core that my dreams do matter. That writing sparks new life in me and that it isn’t wrong to enjoy that.

What I love about all the gems I have discovered over the past few weeks, is that with a little reframing, with a lot of intentionality about what I want out of each day, I can direct my activities towards pursuing my goals AND find greater meaning in my moments with the kids.

What we ignore doesn’t just go away. It eats away at us, hoping that one day, we will just pay attention. We only get one chance at this life. Every single day is a gift that we can either ‘get through’ or invest into building a reality we are proud of.

I’m not perfect at this. My challenge (as I ruefully discovered in my recent Spiritual Direction session) is not to become obsessive with reaching for glittering new heights, but to allow myself the time to mellow as well. This might sound counter-intuitive, but letting the insights have time to settle and take hold is an important part of the process. I’m (very slowly) getting better at this.

Thanks to my newfound gratitude process (which I just discovered I had been doing wrong), I’m listing ten specific moments (ie. not broad ‘thankful for food, clothing, shelter’ moments) each day that bring me joy. The practice has already been transformative as I begin to train my mind to look out for these types of interactions (usually a heart-melting moment with the kids, a kick-ass writing session, or a family fun activity) and actively begin to prioritise my time towards these ends.

I know I have a long way to go, but I’m feeling positive. Look out world!

Confession time: Is there anyone else out there who shares my new hobby? Come on, there has to be some of you! Let me know if you have any great self-help books that have changed your life too. I’ve been reading High Performance Habits by Brendan Burchard and have been learning heaps from that one as well (and bonus – you can listen to the audio version for free on his podcast The Brendan Show).