Living In-between

By way of background to this post, in late 2013 I experienced a short and complicated pregnancy that was not to be. You can read about that experience here. That sweet naivete that I carried with me in my first two pregnancies disappeared then and I find it difficult not to think about the possibility of loss. This poem speaks to that tension that I now exist in – the hope of new life and the ever present possibility of death.

You are yet unknown, though treasured

unseen, yet loved. 

Our heartbeats tangle together, 

and at this stage we are 

one.

Wondering at the future and 

at complicated pasts

I go between two realities –

hope and devastation 

that this may not come to pass.

Whatever life may bring 

I’m thankful that we got to 

share these weeks.

This moment here right now

I am utterly at peace. 

I’m trying something new this month – #Write31Days with a talented community of other writers. We free write for five minutes (or more) each day guided by a prompt. Today’s prompt is ‘you’. 

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For more information on 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes, check out Christina Hubbard’s site!

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Write 31 Days

I’m so excited to be trying something new this year – the challenge of writing every day in October alongside so many other bloggers and writers. More specifically, I’m doing the five minute free writes (#5MFW) version which is hosted by the talented Christina Hubbard. It is simple really, write […]

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The Paradox of Parenting

Five years of little feet Five years of lack of sleeping Of realising our complete and utter lack of predicting. We know there was a ‘before’ but how can we even picture what that looked like  when it didn’t include  you. … Five years of tears Five years of weeping […]

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Pulling out the Threads

What is it that renders one moment  different to the one it trails?  The sun has barely inched across the  vast acquamarine expanse but there is a quality of  luminous extravagance, enchanted expectancy that was absent a stroke ago. Why is it that I am all patience and  ragged deep breaths […]

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The Visceral Path

Sometimes it disappears into shadows, murky and swirling with mist. Perhaps overcome with overgrowth, tangled and impossibly wild. At times it converges and I see a friendly face brimming with relief. And then there are the moments, the strokes of pure ecstasy, stumbling through thorns and brambles only to discover […]

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Ode to Gus

Your little white head pops up Eyes almost hidden behind  shaggy fur Watching, being, wondering.  … You wiggle your entire body in  ecstasy when we re-enter even if it has only been mere moments, our presence to you is  pure joy. … Eleven years of companionship Nestling your warm body […]

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Buried Treasure

A lone leaf flutters to the ground. Capturing the golden glow as it tumbles, gracefully. The final dance. How many dawns and twilights  have you witnessed? Quivering as the wind ran rough fingers over your smooth skin. Glistening, cradling droplets of morning dew between  your delicate veins. Was I the […]

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Carving a Square Hole

I ache for you, my son. What will the future hold for  a square peg who refuses to be contained, boxed, categorised? … Each question feels like an interrogation How could I not have  done more, been more, anticipated this?  And why is your refusal to conform felt by me […]

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The Virtue of Words

I am two people today. Mired in future ponderings and seized by  history. … Laughter rings out, I realise it is mine. Body given  fully over to the humour of the moment. Maybe I am  three? … Counting dates on fingers, hiding behind transparent  walls. Rushing over to surround quivering lips  […]

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Hidden in Plain Sight

The scent of lilies,  white, subtle, unfurling The chance to revive  childhood memories ‘Cuckoo, Cuckoo’ … A pot furiously bubbling on the stove The long stem of  a crystal glass swirling with  warmth, laughter, passion Bergamot scented  clean, crisp washing Cool and smooth white sheets … Reclining on a rope swing […]

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