It caught me quite by surprise when I heard on the radio that we had now entered autumn. Apart from a blindingly intense period which spurred nationwide bushfires, it seemed as if summer just forgot to show up in Melbourne. With regular (and heavy) rainfall and moderate temperatures, you could be forgiven for thinking we had returned to another spring. Not that I’m complaining! Oppressive heat is really not my thing, and it was lovely to see our front garden flourish with the constant watering from above, giving us our first real crop of apples and pears (which I promptly made into a crumble!).

Summer was a strange collection of moments. It began with Eli breaking his arm just before we headed off on holidays to Venus Bay. Thanks to his Uncle Steve, who happens to be a talented Orthotist/Prosthetist, he was fitted with a completely removable and washable cast which made our beach trips and other adventures much more manageable. We were very grateful.

We weathered the loss of our beloved pet, Gus, celebrated Christmas with both sides of the family, marked fifteen years of marriage with a lovely night away and, for the first time in a long time, we didn’t travel anywhere during January. Instead, we used the time for day trips and hospitality – having a record number of people over. With two dinner parties, Ivy’s flower-themed birthday party and then a Greek-themed Enchanted Table, it turns out that we hosted no less than 84 people during January/February alone!

No wonder I feel tired.

As always, I’m linking up with Emily Freeman to examine the lessons learned (both trivial and deep) on this complicated and wonderful journey called life.

1. Losing a Pet Hurts More Than You Think

There is something about death that crystallises life into this complex tangle of memories and moments. We had to say goodbye to our beloved dog, Gus, when we found out that he had heart failure. One moment we had been enjoying a wonderful time in Venus Bay, then the next he was struggling to breathe and barely able to walk. It was such an emotional time and I was blindsided by a wave of grief.

Fifteen years is a lot of memories and he was such a constant part of our lives that it took his absence to really underscore how much he meant to us. He had seen us through four kids, countless house changes, seasons and events. I still feel a sense of absence when I walk into the house and he doesn’t come bounding up to say hello. Those moments when I catch myself just before I’m about to say ‘hey Gus’ and then remember.

We miss you, Gus. You were such a part of the family. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

2. One Year Sober is a Big Milestone

At the start of last year I couldn’t even contemplate a life without alcohol. I was in the process of trialling an alcohol-free period (which failed dismally), mostly to prove to myself that I was in control of this and that I wouldn’t have to give up my source of ‘pleasure’ forever. But the Universe had other plans, and on 20 February 2019 I had the epiphany that would change everything.

One year on and I can truly say this has been the best (and hardest) year of my life. What I thought was helping me, or at least letting me ‘get through’ the days, was actually holding me back from the life I was meant to live. I have been able to implement so many positive habits as a result of not simply ‘recovering’ from the toll alcohol placed on my system every day – habits like a twice-daily meditation practice, getting up at 5am to exercise and write, and savouring a cup of golden milk every night before bed.

I also got connected with a brilliant Spiritual Director who has helped me face so many things about my past and life that I just hadn’t been able to see before and find a way to become more whole again.

To celebrate this milestone, we went as a family to Okami Restaurant in Narre Warren – an ‘all you can eat’ Japanese place. It was heaps of fun and we ate far too much, but also had great conversations about the nature of alcohol and why it was important for me to give it up. I’m so thankful that I’m in a place now where my life isn’t controlled by a need for wine and that by breaking a pattern in my own life, I have hopefully played a part in changing the story for generations to come.

3. Marriage Gets Exponentially Better

Fifteen years ago, Dave and I said ‘I do’. We were barely in our twenties, we shared our first kiss together as man and wife, and we had such high hopes for the world and our place in it. We had no way of anticipating the wild ride that would come, but thankfully, each situation has drawn us closer together.

Looking back on what I thought was a deep relationship back then, I’m amazed to see how it has grown ever more strong – with a better understanding of ourselves through the Enneagram, aligning our interests through trying to read and listen to what the other person is into, giving each other space to pursue the things that bring us alive, doing hard things together (like running a church for almost a decade and having four amazing kids), having a regular date night, working together and aligning our schedules so that we rise and go to bed at the same time – all these things have made such a difference. I’m really excited to see what the next fifteen years holds!

4. Online Connections Can Lead to Real Relationships

Actually, I first discovered this one about three years ago now, when I connected with the lovely Christina Hubbard on Twitter and we began emailing back and forth. Our shared love of writing and poetry connected us and then we began sending weekly Voxer messages – kind of like a modern day pen pal situation. She is in Kansas City, I in Melbourne, and we’ve never met in real life, but I treasure that relationship so much for the insights, support and connection that it has provided.

Fast forward to this summer and the group of Twitter writing friends I check in with each morning at 6am has now met twice for brunch in person! It has been so nice to chat leisurely with people that actually know each other quite well, thanks to that regular connecting experience of sharing our wins and losses and the struggles of starting that new project we know we just need to get into. One of our own celebrated the release of the first book in her YA series Blackbirch and we gathered together at the Groove Train to mark the auspicious occasion. She even surprised us by handing over gifts of custom made ‘Blackbirch: The Bookstore’ tote bags filled with green tea and chocolate! So good.

5. Sometimes You Just Need to Take the Leap

Dave and I have been talking about starting an education business for a while now, but the reality of fitting that into our lives just didn’t align. This year, with an extra day a week for me without kids around the house, I’ve set aside the time to go deep into figuring out how to make this happen.

Marie Forleo’s B-School opened up at just the right time and I nervously signed up, hoping that this might be just the thing that I need to get us on the right track and avoid some of the pitfalls that come as a result of trying something completely out of my comfort zone! The first few days after I signed up, I felt mostly just terrified and inadequate, particularly when comparing myself with the others who are in the course.

But then I decided to just jump in and introduce myself properly. As a result, I’ve connected with the most amazing people, even one who actually runs a restaurant in Berwick (ten minutes away). Who knows where the journey will lead, but I have direction and lots to learn. Life is good.

…

Summer, you were an eclectic mix of meaningful experiences. I’m relishing the thought of autumn now – warm days and cool nights, the flutter of ruby-hued leaves. There is so much to be thankful for and I’m grateful to be in this space right now.

What was your summer like? Did you feel as if you moved forward at all in your goals or are you still waiting for that something that might get you going? I would love to hear all about your experiences! Let me know down below.