This recent burst of arctic weather has me straining to remember the mellow days of autumn. The slide from the radiance of summer to the chill of winter happened all of a sudden, somehow…
This season was a strange one for us – with car troubles making logistics difficult for a good month while we had our car towed (four times) back to the mechanic to try and figure out what was going on. It wasn’t all hard though, there were birthdays (Harvey’s included), mother’s day and the celebration-filled weekend of Easter.
Eli has made a brilliant start at his new school, to the point where Dave and I have looked at each other and wondered if he is even the same person. Moving up a grade and being forced to work harder and match the maturity of older students has been the best possible thing for him, as we see new drive and focus bursting forth.
The change has shifted the balance within our family, with Dave and Eli heading off early every morning and coming home around dinner time each night. I have valued the opportunities to invest into the other three, particularly Hudson, who is suddenly moving much faster with his own learning now.
I’ve picked up baking with renewed vigour – cooking my way through Alice in Bakingland’s enchanting cookbook and we have both finally gathered up the nerve to examine our finances properly which has been both overwhelming and exciting, made much easier thank to the Barefoot Investor’s common sense and easy to understand advice.
As always, I’m linking up with Emily Freeman to reflect upon the lessons of the season, figuring out what went well and what perhaps didn’t…
1. I’m Braver Than I Thought
I recently came across the free audio version of High Performance Habits (Brendan Burchard) on his podcast and I sped through the book. If there was a way of becoming, little habits I could put in place to make life more smooth and successful, I was in! Then I did the test and found out that while I was fairly okay in five of the categories (Clarity, Energy, Necessity, Productivity and Influence), my score for Courage was abysmal.
‘Perhaps’, my Spiritual Director suggested, ‘it isn’t that you don’t have courage, but that you aren’t noticing it in yourself?’ I took this on board and began to realise she was right. I’ve always seen myself as a ‘people pleaser’ rather than someone with real backbone, but lately, I have been shifting ever so slightly – from my willingness to share the struggles I had with alcohol use dependency, to getting up on the stage with three other incredible women to share my story in front of hundreds – I’m beginning to see it and believe it.
So often, I think we forget to give ourselves credit for what we are doing well, choosing to see what we could do better instead. If that’s you, take a moment to notice how you have grown in an area and congratulate yourself right now!
2. Spiritual Direction is The Best
I remember hearing the term ‘spiritual direction’ thrown about and it always conjured up images of a shadowy church with flickering candles. I didn’t really understand what it was or why it might be a good idea. Then someone I know well shared about how helpful the relationship had been for her and how it was kind of like accountability, therapy and mentoring all in one. When I finally made the decision to choose sobriety I knew I would need someone outside my circle to keep me on track, so I reached out.
We have had three sessions now, from the comfort of my own home as we link up over Skype, and each one has contained earth-shattering realisations of mindsets I had or tales I had believed since I was little – stories that no longer served me and needed to be let go. There have been many tears, so many ‘aha’ moments and the wonderful knowledge that I have a completely safe space to just be. Now that I have begun, I wish I had taken the plunge years ago, but you can’t live life with regret….
3. Meditation Isn’t Weird
I don’t know about you but I always just nodded politely whenever anyone mentioned that they meditated and privately assumed they were a little ‘new age’ or something. This probably came from my conservative upbringing where anything that might be slightly Eastern or ‘other’ was automatically considered bad.
Then I came across Emily Fletcher and her Ziva Meditation approach. The clincher for me was how she explained everything in terms of what meditation actually does within your brain and includes heaps of studies of the physical impact of the practice upon so many areas of life. I needed a way of facing the turmoil of my inner thoughts without becoming overwhelmed and meditation is that for me.
It has been two months now of a twice-daily practice and I wouldn’t go back. I even roped Dave in and he joins me for a session in the morning now!
4. Control is an Illusion
You know how there are some lessons that just keep flooding in until you pay attention? This is one of those for me. I know it in theory, but my daily reactions tell a different story about what I truly believe.
After Harvey’s head injury this month, which he then followed up with a repeat blow to the exact same spot only a week later when mucking around at home, I became a tightly wound machine: ‘Don’t run inside the house! Don’t RUN!’ My entire body would tense as though if I just contracted enough and yelled louder, I could prevent any evil befalling the house. It sounds ridiculous and it is, but somehow I just couldn’t break it.
I’m not over it completely, in fact I suspect I’ll be dealing with versions of this lesson for years to come, but I’m learning that becoming a hulk mum won’t protect my kids. If anything, it will just teach them to fear me instead of true threats. Breathe in, breathe out….. sigh.
5. Polish Food is Incredible
Have you ever tried pierogi? We had the wonderful chance to sample Polish food twice this season and I loved every minute of it. Starting with our Polish themed Enchanted Table feast, and then again to celebrate mother’s day and my sister and brother-in-law’s birthdays, we were so spoilt.
Winter is the perfect season to try out a few new warming recipes – you can find some links in the Enchanted Table recap if you become inspired!
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As we head into winter, I’m making a conscious effort to ride out the seasons with grace this time – using the opportunity to get cosy, to snuggle up with more books and listen to my body a lot more. What are you looking forward to this season? What did you learn in the last one?