Mother’s Day can be a little complicated. I mean, it’s kinda like a birthday – because we get cards and presents and lots of attention, but it’s also super-charged with all of this extra baggage somehow.

I don’t know about you, but there have been more than a few occasions in the past where I have unintentionally sabotaged my own experience and ended up more miserable by the end of Mother’s Day than I would have if it it had just been a normal day.

So, this year I’m determined not to let that happen*. I have every intention of enjoying today, while also not overloading it with countless unrealistic expectations of how it is ‘supposed to go’.

(*That’s the plan, anyway!)

Here’s my ideas for carrying it out:

1. Bring the Joy

I’ve learned this one the hard way over the years, but my family really can’t read my mind. I know that they really do want me to have a lovely day, but the actual reality of what that might look like in practice is difficult for them to envision if I don’t speak up.

Do you hate breakfast in bed? (I do!) Is your idea of a good day having a cup of tea by yourself in blissful silence (ahhh the serenity)? Perhaps you just want to have a meal where everyone uses their manners (one can only dream).

The tricky part with this one is when you don’t even know what makes you happy to begin with.

As a mother, the reality is you are probably spending most of your days taking care of others and trying to make them happy. When the time comes for you to have your turn, if you are anything like I was, you might just end up drawing a blank and hoping that someone somewhere will magically be able to figure it out for you.

At the start of every day now, I write down three things on my ‘to do list’ that I know will bring me joy. Usually that ends up being a combination of writing my novel, having a hot cup of tea, dancing in the living room and singing along to music. But the key was, I had to actually discover what those things were. And that took time.

So today, just pay attention to what makes you feel happy. And then ask/plan for more of that. Getting to know yourself like this is the best thing ever. And, trust me, your family will just be relieved to not have to guess anymore!

2. Lower those Expectations

Ever had a glistening high-definition picture of how a day was going to pan out, only to feel a crushing sense of disappointment at the end of the day when it ended up being nothing like that? (No? Just me?)

The insidious part is that sometimes I don’t even realise I’m doing it. I remember many special occasions where I just ended up in tears by the end, with a vague sense of loss, even though on the surface everything had gone smoothly.

Expectations can be a killer. I’m entering today with a blank slate and an intention to just enjoy whatever comes. I’ll let you know how it goes.

3. If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

I don’t know about you but I’ve worked hard to engineer a life that I actually want to live. The routines, the task break-downs, the way we go about our days – all of that is (on the whole) just a response to what works for our family.

In the past, we have attempted to flip all that so that I can have a ‘break’. But often what ends up happening is that our usually ordered existence ends up in chaos.

I love cooking. I enjoy ordering my environment. To have a day off from these activities actually feels strange and unfulfilling.

Obviously your situation will be different to mine, but don’t fall into the trap of switching around everything just because that’s what others say should be done.

And, if you genuinely don’t enjoy the day-to-day realities of your existence, and live for the one day a year that the roles are reversed – maybe it’s time to rethink that balance?

4. Kids Will Be Kids

Whether its birthdays, Christmases or any other special occasion, sometimes I get tricked into thinking that somehow my kids will magically behave like angels just because of the date.

Yeah. I know.

There will be bickering and fighting today. They will probably still talk back. There will be eye-rolls and sighs, ridiculous fart noises and silliness galore. Or at least there will in my family.

But I’m going with it. Or I’ll try to, at least!

5. Reach Out To Other Mums

Whether it’s your own or just another mum you admire, looking outwards always helps regain that much-needed perspective about what this day is really about.

I sure wouldn’t be here without the love and care of my own incredible mother and mother-in-law! In this time of isolation, I realise even more how much their presence in my life is so crucial and I’m so thankful for the example of these amazing women.

So, Happy Mother’s Day to you! I hope that despite the confining and monotonous nature of isolation, this day can still be one to remember and that you come to appreciate your family anew as they do their best to celebrate you.