Can anyone remember what life was like before lockdown? Everything about this year has shrunk my awareness right down to what’s happening between the walls in front of me, burying me under a confined reality of what life has become.

We made it through Learn From Home relatively unscathed (all things considered). Making up routines and rhythms that suited, ignoring all recommendations about ideal ratios of screen time. Weathered storms of accusations that we were the ‘worst parents ever’ when we wouldn’t let one child visit his friend’s house down the street. Sending the kids off to school this week was a wonderful change, though, despite the heightened emotions that spilled out at home. It was so good to see them be able to reconnect with friends again.

As for me, I channelled all my words into work and my series, The Mastery Chronicles, sending off the first book into the ether for a possible chance at representation (although knowing that rejections are the norm in this industry, I’m trying not to get my hopes up).

Then I got swept up in politics. The situation unfolding in America became too difficult to tear my gaze from, despite having zero stakes in what the outcome might be. I listened to podcast after podcast about the dangers of anti-racism and cancel culture, the stories that aren’t being picked up (or have been distorted) by the dying media conglomerates and churned through book after book about ideology (The Madness of Crowds by Douglas Murray, The End of Gender: Debunking the Myths about Sex and Identity in our Society by Dr Debra Soh, and Blackout by Candace Owens). Humans and their politics are truly fascinating, but I know I need to pull away now before I get too caught up in who becomes the next President.

If life ever does go back to ‘normal’, I can’t wait to hang out with family. To hold my beautiful new nephew (who was born yesterday), to have a conversation that doesn’t involve FaceTime or Zoom. I can’t wait to host an Enchanted Table again and catch up properly with friends. Sharing meals together has been one of the things I’ve missed most during this time.

This year has been one of a kind (I hope) and in some ways, I’m grateful to get the opportunity to devour books (I’ve read about 80 so far this year) and learn so much. But life isn’t just about hoarding information, and I’m ready for the balance to shift.

Here’s hoping for more good news in the weeks to come.