It has been one week. Eight days to be precise and I feel a little like I’ve wandered into an alternative universe.

It turns out that being sober is hard work.

Crazy hour has amped up a few thousand notches and I’m feeling every single painful moment of it. I’m actually writing this from McCafe on Dave’s stern orders so that I could avoid the bathtime/bedtime mayhem. (Yes, he is amazing).

I haven’t questioned my decision, but I have felt the heaviness of it at times. The finality of it. The admission that I am broken in a way that can’t be moderated. And then I feel the freedom of it all. The sense that this time the battle I’m fighting is forever. And it will get easier. I know it will.

In the meantime, I’m on the lookout for the glimmers of hope. The parts that I didn’t expect but have been wonderful gifts amidst the mess.

1. People are Incredibly Supportive

One of the biggest fears I had in facing the shadow and telling people the truth was that there would be a backlash or loss of respect for me from the ones I loved the most. My ego was very clear on that point.

Instead, I have received nothing but encouragement and support. Messages of thanks and appreciation, and connections with others that have deepened as a result. There were no ‘I told you so’s’ or, on the flipside, no one who scoffed at my decision either (to my face, at least!).

2. The Bar Just Got Lowered Big Time

Making the decision to get sober means that I have a reason to be proud of myself every single day. It sounds trite as I type that, but there is something very powerful about knowing that simply by ‘not doing’ something, I am taking steps on the path I want to be on.

Unfortunately, the insanity of crazy hour has uncovered a whole new raft of issues that I now need to work on (snacking and screaming being two), but hey – life would be boring if it was perfect… right?

3. There are Other Pleasures Besides Alcohol

I’ve been getting into tea again, and found an interesting Cardamom blend at our local Indian grocer that is quite delicious. I’m wary that I don’t just want to swap an alcohol addiction for a sugar one, but chocolate has also made a bit of a comeback. My sister also recommended non-alcoholic spirits (Seedlip) which I’m very keen to try.

At this early point, I’m just going with whatever works. I figure that a few more pleasures in my diet won’t be the end of the world (particularly considering all the calories I’m not consuming in the wine glass anymore). Even just being able to get out in the car after dinner without worrying that I might be over the limit is very freeing and has already allowed me to travel to this cafe a number of times when I would have had to pass previously.

4. The Sleep is Amazing

One week in and my sleep is now so deep that it takes me a few minutes to even remember who I am in the mornings. While I was drinking it felt like I would always hover in a light sleep zone or completely freak Dave out by jumping up in an adrenaline-fuelled burst – ready to defend the family against an alien attack or some such horror.

Now, if only my skin could get the message and stop breaking out so much – a not-so-great surprise that is apparently very common once you quit. Sigh.

5. Time Just Got Slower

This is something I lament constantly during the insanity of crazy hour, but once the kids have (finally) gone to bed and I’m clear headed enough to tackle something I want to do – like the edits on my book or a blog post or some hours of writing work…. it feels amazing. Before I would just push through the fog, collapse into bed and limp into the next day. Now, those hours are stretched out before me with great promise.

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Eight days feels like a lifetime in some ways, and mere moments in others. Thank you to every single person who has reached out to me over the past week and been so supportive and incredible – it has truly made the world of difference! And if you want to share your own journey with me (even if it looks completely different to mine) please do. I really love getting messages from you guys – it makes me feel so much more connected to you. Life is meant to be lived in community and I’m feeling the wonder and necessity of that more than ever.