There is a wonderful richness about connecting with other generations. This month Dave and I have had a number of opportunities to gather with those both older and younger than us, and the experiences have left us with much to reflect on.

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It was early March and oppressively hot. The chalkboard invited and beckoned us  – up the stairs, onto the covered deck, through the sliding panelled glass door – to a Middle Eastern feast. The average age of the other guests was 65. I was nervous. It was my first ‘sober’ party experience and every insecurity seemed magnified. What if I don’t have anything interesting to say? What if we don’t connect with anyone? The internal barrage was relentless, but the thought of a night where we didn’t have to put the kids was sufficiently enticing and so we went.

It was incredible. We met humans like ourselves, who are merely a few more years ahead of us on the journey. We had conversations of depth about parenting, childhood experiences, great adventures and spirituality. The night was organised impeccably – with ingredients and laminated instructions set out in workstations, with every possible need anticipated. A creative schedule guided us and we worked in groups to create one of eight courses, ranging from entrees to desserts. It was so much fun!

Strains of exotic music wafted through, mingling with the scent of candied walnuts, harissa-spiced roasted cauliflower and pistachio crumbed lamb cutlets.The lanterns and fairy lights twinkled as conversation lingered and the air cooled deliciously around us. We came as strangers – knowing only two other guests – but in the short space of a few hours, we left as friends.

Sometimes it can be easy to get caught up in the misconception that what is happening now is fixed or forever. We forget that each day shifts slightly, until one day you wake up and realise your children are independent. That isn’t to say that your sense of responsibility and love fades – rather, if the experiences of those older than us was anything to go by – it can intensify. Getting the chance to grill these wise and wonderful people about how they would have done things differently if given the chance (and what decisions they were proud of) was such a privilege and we left feeling filled to the brim.

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Fast forward a little and it was our turn.

We opened up our house this week to two groups of young married couples from CityLife for the purpose of exploring the Enneagram in relationships. The table became crowded as dishes and drinks were laid out and the laughter and fun took over. Through the insightful questions of those who came, we were granted the chance to return to a place often forgotten – the beginning of us. The start of our starry-eyed days when ‘we’ sparked into being. As we reminisced and spoke candidly about our struggles and lessons, it brought back a sense of nostalgia for those long gone days.

There is a strength and integrity immediately evident in these younger guys, a sense of passion and fire that is rather more faded in us. We were stirred by their authenticity, their grasp of complexity and the connections that have been forged for years through youth group and young adults.

Our own kids gazed with wonder at the people who are so much cooler than we are, and lay awake for hours, eavesdropping. We didn’t mind. At least they gleaned a wealth of knowledge about the importance of self-knowledge in relationships and how the Enneagram can help you realise that the person you share your life with views issues from a vastly different perspective to you.

When we allow ourselves to become entrenched in the everyday, looking only from side to side to share experiences, we miss out on the gold mine of wonder that exists both above and below us – the wisdom and experience of the elders and the energy and creativity of youth.

It is our hope that the future brings many more such opportunities – for us, and for our kids, as they connect with people nearer to their age and find role models of how to do life well. It is an investment, an honour that holds so much more than is evident on the surface.