It was the summer of organising – rummaging through drawers, getting rid of furniture, and watching YouTube videos on how to ‘style’ a house for sale.
In November last year, we bought a house. It was almost a whim, in that it happened very quickly – the ad going up on the Friday, joining the throngs of other enthusiastic prospective buyers on the Saturday and then putting in our offer on the Sunday night. We hardly dared hope that we would be the ones to succeed, but as Dave put the estate agent on speaker in front of the whole family on the Monday night, we heard those magic words: ‘You got the house!’ There were screams from all directions and I even felt a little teary at the news.
The house in Berwick is perfect for us – an entertainer’s paradise, complete with pool and spa, plenty of outdoor decked areas and an idyllic representation of what we hope the next phase of our life will be. It’s closer to school and will cut down the length of our commutes by half.
The next task then became apparent, however. We had to sell our current home. Somehow every day in the holidays became part of the mission – trips to Ikea, sorting through every cupboard and drawer. We dropped off loads to Savers, attended to those odd jobs that had been mounting up and pared back everything in the name of minimalism and style. It was exhausting, but also rewarding as we watched the space transform into a place more resembling the pages of a magazine. I enlisted the help of my mother and she was better than an expert, with her keen stylistic eye and creative solutions to problems (‘Oh, you don’t have a painting for the bedroom? I’ll just paint one!’).
Thankfully, the house sold quickly and we let out a collective sigh of relief. I was unprepared for the wave of sadness that also accompanied the news, however. So many memories have been forged between these walls. It will be hard to say goodbye.
The summer we had pictured – filled with beach trips and day excursions – didn’t really eventuate, but the kids were remarkably understanding and patient as we tended to yet another day of ‘house stuff’ while they expanded their allowable screen time limits and made their own fun on the trampoline. There were many lessons learned along the way, and it’s always worth looking back on each season’s gems.
- Half the Price, All of the Reward
When we looked into the cost of having a stylist come in and professionally do the house for photos and inspections, we got a bit of a shock. While we wanted the house to look good, we just couldn’t justify spending quite that much, particularly considering that we wouldn’t even get to keep any of the furniture at the end of it!
So we came up with a solution – we’d spend around half the cost of what we would have had to pay for a stylist, and do it ourselves. We live in an age where you can pretty much learn anything online, so that’s what we did – reading articles about what mistakes to avoid and finding all about the tricks of the trade through video tutorials. In the end, after a mammoth Ikea trip and a few scavenging expeditions to Savers, we knocked up a version that we were very happy with, as well as lots of new accessories (cushions, so many cushions!) that should work well in the new place.
2. ‘Killing’ Your Friends For Fun?
We had the privilege of attending a birthday party recently with a Mafia theme (it’s a role-playing ‘social deduction’ game, for the uninitiated). It was hilarious. Dave and I happily stayed out until past midnight (the latest we have even been awake in recent memory) and it was fascinating watching the shifting dynamics of the group as people ducked and weaved their way through the accusations of murder and intrigue.
I have so many fond memories of playing this game on youth and uni camps, and it was so good to discover that it’s just as enjoyable now. So, if you are looking for an idea for your next gathering, pick up a deck of cards and force your friends to play! You won’t regret it.
3. The Hidden Benefits Game
It turns out that life with only one child at home is quite different! I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but Harvey and I have managed to conjure up a bit of a rhythm for our days at home together.
With no other kids at home for Harvey to play with, I wondered whether I’d be roped into endless games, but so far it hasn’t been too overwhelming! I have had to shift my goals to make room for some crucial things – like trampoline jumping sessions and building marble towers together. Even though I still feel the press of ‘getting stuff done’, I’m more acutely aware that this time before he goes to school is fleeting and will be over before I’m ready for it.
One tip that helps me reorient my perspective is coming up with all the hidden benefits of a particular action – like ‘I’m getting Vitamin D right now from being outside’, ‘I’m doing exercise by jumping and getting more fit,’ ‘I’m helping Harvey to learn and have fun,’ etc. And, I find invariably that, even when the initial internal reaction is a groan, these are the moments that return to mind at the end of the day and make it in that final cut onto my gratitude list.
4. The Emergency Worker Rule
I have no idea where I picked up this nugget and I can’t find any references as context, but I heard recently that doctors and nurses in the Emergency Department deliberately slow down their movements because, even in catastrophic situations, it gives them more time. This counter-intuitive strategy enables them to avoid making mistakes because of rushing or panicking, and also helps calm those around them.
Well, regardless of where it came from (or whether it’s accurate), this strategy really works! I’ve been using it for at least a month now, and it’s remarkable how much less stress I feel as a result. Moving slowly and deliberately keeps my heart rate down, it means I don’t have to recover from that last minute dash towards the door, and I don’t forget as many things. Next time you are tempted to move about like a cyclone, give it a go!
5. The World is Your Library
Over summer, I broke my habit of writing every day. After ditching Twitter and deleting my account (my own personal ‘stick it to the man’ rebellion after the Orwellian purges and an alarming trend of flagging as ‘disinformation’ many perfectly reasonable posts as well as outright censorship), I lost my connection to my 6am writer buddies who unfailingly showed up each morning to put words on the page. While I have zero regrets about deleting Twitter (seriously, why is there so much toxicity on there?), I really missed the accountability and bantering that we engaged in during those pre-dawn hours.
While we were getting the house ready, all my creative energy was being poured into the rooms in front of me, so I justified the break, but then we sold the place and I found it impossible to pick the habit back up. I felt rotten about it for a long time – berating myself for the procrastination and laziness, but I still couldn’t bring myself to rectify the situation.
Aiming for the next best thing, I borrowed piles of middle grade fiction and ended up discovering a brilliant author, Vashti Hardy, whose stunning prose and unique imagination has inspired me. It is as Kobe Bryant so wisely said: ‘Once you know what it is in life that you want to do, then the world basically becomes your library. Everything you view, you can view from that perspective, which makes everything a learning asset for you.’
Yesterday, I clicked open Swordmaster again for the first time in almost six months (I had set it aside to work on Firemaster for a spell) and I was amazed to find that it actually feels like someone else has written it. I now have no qualms about completely rewriting the book, because I can see how to improve it. That break (while totally making the control-freak in me squirm) allowed a flood of fresh perspective and I’m ready to go!
As my (incredibly wise) Spiritual Director says, and I wholeheartedly agree – ‘Nothing is ever wasted.’
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Here’s a brief snapshot of some of the other great times we had over summer….
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The seasons are already shifting, with the ruby and ochre leaves drifting lazily to the ground and the chill on the morning air. Autumn is one of my favourite times of the year and I’m looking forward to celebrating Easter with family, going away for a quick jaunt to the beach and marking the fourth anniversary of Harvey’s birth!
What did you learn this summer? Was it a break from the hibernation of last year or did you find it difficult to really get back into the heady pace of life? Let me know! And, if you want to read other great recap posts from the What I’ve Learned initiative, check out Emily Freeman’s blog.
