The oppressive heat and raging bushfires make this ‘end of Summer’ post feel premature. And yet, the crimson hue of the leaves has already begun to signpost the change of seasons, even if the temperature gauge has yet to catch up.

Summer has been filled with life, chaos, beauty and mess. We travelled far and wide – to the hinterlands behind Byron Bay, the breathtaking views of Tamborine Mountain and the remote wilderness of Nhulunbuy. Christmas celebrations filled most of December and the holidays seemed to flash by, blinking into the past in what felt like moments.

The season was filled with many hard realisations for me, but as difficult as it has been to face the shadows, I feel a sense of peace that has eluded me for a long time. That’s not to say that life is carefree or easy now. In many ways it has become more difficult. But there is something profound about choosing to see what you have tried to ignore for so long. The light has a beautiful way of scaring the darkness away.

As always, I’m linking up with Emily Freeman to examine the lessons learned (both trivial and deep) on this complicated and wonderful journey called life.

1. You can Find Mrs Maisel’s Wardrobe at Savers

Any other Marvellous Mrs Maisel fans out there? After being put onto this show by my brother in law, I got completely hooked. There is something quite refreshing about the characters (particularly Midge – the vivacious 1950s housewife who launches herself into a career as a stand up comic), the setting (New York) and the costumes (oh my goodness, the costumes!).

It took about a month of staring open mouthed at the screen every time Midge walked on with a new outfit, before I told Dave not to buy me anything for Christmas but to let me loose at Savers instead. It was glorious. With a very singular focus in mind, browsing the racks for treasures was so straightforward and I found so many amazing (and low cost!) outfits that pay homage to her svelte look.

This season I also dabbled with sharing a few of my fashion tips and it was so much fun!

Parenting is complicated

Okay, so this isn’t necessarily a new observation, but the complexity as our kids grow up can be quite overwhelming at times. I don’t know if you ever have those moments when you just sit there and think ‘how the hell am I going to get through this?‘ And we’re not even facing hardcore issues like addiction, violence or abuse. Parenting is so freaking hard.

I was quite a mild mannered woman before I became a mother, but man, can I be fierce now. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that at least two of our kids have very combative personalities, or that we have had to deal with developmental delays and health problems with another. It feels like you just get a handle on one stage of life and then it all changes completely again.

I think there is also that fear of ‘what if I’m totally screwing this up? Screwing them up?’ I am becoming so much more of a ‘prayer’ recently, because, to be honest, sometimes it is the only thing that helps.

I can’t thrive if I’m bound by what people think

This lesson has been hard. I am such a people-pleaser by nature and it has taken a lot of work to learn boundaries and how to stick to my values even when every fibre of my being just wants to look like I’m going with the flow and not causing any conflict. (Essentialism was a key part of figuring out a new approach).

This year has already seen a number of hard decisions regarding Kinder and schooling that we have had to confront and I have really struggled with that. I don’t want to be the one rocking the boat or standing up for what I think is important for my kids, but I’m learning that if I don’t, no one else will.

The best part about stepping out is that you realise people don’t really care anyway. Everyone is busy living their own lives and dealing with complicated schedules, needs and problems. So if you were, like me, holding yourself back based upon the spectre of fear – take the leap! You won’t regret it (hopefully!).

Being pushed out of your comfort zone is good

Towards the end of January, Dave and I jetted off to a remote part of the Northern Territory (Nhulunbuy), where the lagoons are populated by crocodiles and the only road into the town is a 700km red dirt stretch of potholes. Before going I was nervous – worrying at what we were getting ourselves into, wondering if I would add any value and stressing about how the kids would go for three nights without us.

It turned out to be amazing. The Principal of the local Christian school and her husband were incredible – taking us on tours of the rugged landscape and passionately sharing their love for the tiny community. Dave’s longing for adventure was well and truly provoked and we feel like the trip was a pivotal moment for both of us in helping us clarify what we truly want out of life.

Plus, having the space to have proper, uninterrupted conversations without the kids around was a real blessing. (One which made re-entry a little hard, but worth it all the same.)

Life is better sober

I am only 12 days into this journey, but already I’m appreciating the space that has opened up in my mind as a result. No longer am I performing the ‘will I, won’t I’ dance of whether to have a drink that night, I’m sleeping so much more deeply and I don’t wake up at 3am with that familiar wash of shame.

Crazy hour is still long and insane, but (thanks to my sister) I’ve discovered tonic water (Fever-Tree and StrangeLove) and non-alcoholic spirits (Seedlip) which create the most deliciously complex drink and I look forward to this indulgence now while cooking dinner. #notsponsored!

I’ve also discovered a wonderful podcast called ‘Mother Recovering’ which is a collection of interviews with experts and stories of women who have been brave enough to face their battles. It is so reassuring to listen to and find out that each struggle along the way is completely normal and to find a group of mothers like me. Turns out this sober thing is catching on more broadly too, with sobriety being touted as the new black, and with lots of options for the curious like Hip Sobriety and The Sober School.

Cold showers are the best

Who would have thought that there is a quick and easy way to rejuvenate yourself, that simply involves switching the tap from hot to cold at the end of a shower? I have been doing this for a couple of months now (just for 30 seconds or so) and it really is amazing. It led me to examine what other self-care activities I do that can be done in under five minutes, which resulted in this post.

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Okay, so that was far longer than I anticipated! What have you learned this season? It can be anything from the mundane to the profound. I would love to hear about it! And to all those who have been messaging me and keeping me accountable on my sobriety – thank you! You have been so encouraging and supportive.