Thirteen is supposed to be a fairly big milestone. In some ways, Eli has been acting like a teen since his third birthday, making the transition fairly uneventful. Nevertheless, it turns out we officially have a teenager in the house now. 

To say Eli is strong-willed is like saying Niagara Falls is wet. He knows exactly what he wants and somehow managed to convince us to throw him a birthday party even though his brother (whose birthday was in April) hadn’t had one yet. Life wasn’t exactly in a state of calm by this point, with us just having moved out of our Berwick home into my parent’s place. Yet, on the last day of school I found myself madly printing and cutting out a bunch of invites for Eli to give out to his friends for his basketball bash over the holidays. 

Dave had told me about the Somerville Recreation Centre and we had thought we would be already in our house in Somerville by this point, but the real estate alignment wasn’t to be. Needless to say, hosting the party in our new hometown gave me the chance to finally get excited about the impending move. Up until this point, I had been so single-minded in getting through my final essays, then tackling the mammoth task of boxing up all of our belongings. With our new house not becoming available for about three weeks after we relocated out of our old one, you could say that things were a little chaotic. 

Eli took it all in his stride and managed to organise for his all-time friends from his old school to catch a train out to Ringwood so that I could take them to the party. He also wrangled a sleepover with one of his solid new friends from his current school. Dave took the youngest three to set up the function room, while I tried to keep track of Eli and his three friends at Costco. I finally caught up with them all after I had finished the party food shopping and shouted them a pizza/drink for lunch. We had an amusing trip in as the boys in the back insisted on loudly drumming African beats to each song that Eli selected from his playlist. 

When we finally arrived, I slid the wraps, sushi, custard donuts, and brownies onto the table and remarked how this had definitely been one of the easiest parties I had ever ‘catered’. Around 25 of Eli’s friends showed up and Dave had them on a tight schedule of basketball round robin team games. I ducked out with Harvey and Ivy to collect the pizza and a red-faced group of tired boys emerged from the basketball court ready to enjoy some refreshments. Eli was, strangely, adamant that there be no birthday cake (apparently it’s not cool when you are a teenager) so we  skipped over that bit. The boys played footy at the oval and we chatted with the parents until it was time to say goodbye. It was, easily, the most straightforward party we have ever managed. 

Eli ended up with mountains of cash from his incredibly generous friends and has been using the stash ever since to trick out his new room with LED lights, source some rare basketball shoes on Facebook Marketplace and buy 90s style clothes from thrift stores (a man-child after my own heart). 

This year we have actually seen a lift in maturity from Eli. After his easy transition to school last year, he has taken to high school with relative ease, given we have deliberately decided not to bail him out or micro-manage his assessments/schedule. Of course, there have been some hiccups, but on the whole, he has learned from the mistakes and put in place strategies to do better. He has shot up like I could never have believed and now towers over me (so unfair). In fact, he’s not far off reaching Dave’s height, I think. 

Somehow Eli has this talent for picking up piano tunes ridiculously fast, and he has mastered a random array of classical and on-trend pieces, from Pirates of the Caribbean to Rush-E. Often I will marvel at how his fingers start haltingly and then within a mere half an hour, he is smoothly sending out beautiful music into the house. So impressive. 

Eli has invested into some solid friendships at school and has a good group of boys that he hangs out with. He has shown dedication in basketball as well, finally bringing out some drive onto the court, to match his skills. The latest trend for him is trying out a career as a barber (on his exceedingly patient younger brother, Hudson). With all the shorts displaying the must-have fades, he is very prescriptive and demanding as to how I must style his hair. (Which usually ends up in a dramatic ‘what have you done?’ moment, only to be replaced the next day by a begrudging  ‘oh, you actually didn’t do too bad a job’ admission). 

I’m not exactly sure what God’s plan for Eli is, but I imagine it’s got main character vibes. He sure isn’t any kind of wallflower. We point out to his siblings sometimes that they are ironically lucky to have Eli as a big brother – because they are forced to have to stand up for themselves fairly regularly. Got to try and find the silver-lining somehow? When it comes down to it, Eli does deeply care for them, but it would be nice to see that side of his personality just a little more regularly…

Regardless, we are grateful for the character-building experience of raising our eldest son. While this brave new world might be totally unknown (for us), we know that nothing is too hard for God.

…

Dear Eli,

I know you don’t like any kind of cringey stuff, but I made a commitment to doing these birthday letters and I intend to be a person of my word until you are eighteen. Can you believe that is only five years away?

We are proud of you, Eli, even if we don’t say that to you enough. Often we are so quick to share how you have missed the mark, but when I step back to look at the man you are becoming, I am overwhelmingly proud. You have a strength of character and a strong spine – both elements you will dearly need in the emerging world. Make sure to prioritise integrity, even when no one else is watching. The decisions that you make in secret end up shaping who you become. 

Thank you for pitching in around the house, particularly as we went through the difficult (and oh so long) period of selling it. Your help in sanding the decks and mowing the laws was very much appreciated and it’s so encouraging to see your cooking skills develop with more and more practice. 

You know exactly who you are, which is commendable, but make sure you leave room to allow God to have His way as well. He has created you for a wonderful purpose and I can’t wait to see what He has in store for you. Hold strong, when the tides around you try to sweep you towards chaos. He’s always got your back. 

May you find direction and passion in becoming a strong man of God. We pray that you value the intellect you have been gifted, the strong and athletic body you have, the artistic talent you possess and the effortless musical ability you have cultivated. We love you more than words can say, Eli. 

Love always, 

Mum