I have this theory about self-awareness. It comes in waves. Circumstances suddenly arrange to reveal to us an angle to ourselves or a revelation that had henceforth been hidden. That feeling of intense discomfort and shame (the messy middle, to coin a Brene Brown term) can be so unnerving as we come to terms with the depths of who we never thought we were… which then leads to a new level of comfort – a satisfaction that comes from the hard wrestle of doing the work. Arriving at that place, I realise that I find the process a little intoxicating. In hindsight.
I crave it
seek it out
drawing nearer to the flame
moth-like wings beating
insistently
…
Warmth encasing
life embracing
I slide my toes
deeper, sinking down
chasing burnt amber
skies
…
Wind whips
cold chills
The bandages pull loose
Fists of ice, clenching
revelations unfriendly
finds
…
I tense
against
the weight of burdens
suddenly realised
…
Squinting eyes
Fingers slide to reveal
uncomfortable
truths
…
I wait
for the surge
the covering
unearthing another
layer
…
It is the unveiling.
This post is inspired by the Five Minute Friday writing challenge. Each week I join with this talented group of writers, free writing for five minutes in accordance with a prompt. Today’s prompt is ‘comfort’.
9 comments
Wow, profound thoughts. Thanks. Your neighbour at FMF
Hi Emma! Loved this…especially this part about the unnerving feeling “as we come to terms with the depths of who we never thought we were… which then leads to a new level of comfort – a satisfaction that comes from the hard wrestle of doing the work”. Indeed I have found different parts of myself over the past five years since my divorce. It’s really hard work to be comfortable with yourself! Thanks for verbalizing this concept.
Thanks Amy! So glad you resonated with the concepts, it really is hard work isn’t it? I’m learning to try and see it as more of a positive thing even when it feels so uncomfortable!
Love this friend! I’m in the 54 spot this week.
Thanks Tara, looking forward to reading your piece this week xx
I appreciate the Brene Brown reference and your beautifully painted word portrait of the challenging self-discovery process. Visiting from FMF.
Ah Brene Brown is so amazing, isn’t she? I found her book Rising Strong to be so incredibly influential and life-changing… Thanks for stopping by!
This is great, Emma.
And the bandages do pull loose…and sometimes it’s scary to look at what’s underneath.
I think you must be a few hundred layers beyond me with what you have had to go through, Andrew! I think I find every layer a little scary….