It is strange to think that mere days from now – all things going well – we will be cradling a brand new human in our arms. Marvelling at his features, counting fingers and toes, starting at the slightest noises. Wondering how this baby could possibly have been contained within, hidden for so long.
The creation of new life never ceases to be a mystery to me. I expect to feel things, slot into patterns, predict similarities… but the experience continues to surprise me.
As the pains grow stronger, my breath grows more strained, steps become marathon efforts and the lines around my eyes deepen, I look forwards and backwards at the same time. ‘Can it already have been nine months?’ ‘How many more hours can I endure of this?’ ‘Are you still in there?’ ‘How is it all going to play out?’ Tumbling thoughts, conflicting emotions, heightened fears.
I am becoming a shadow. Energy directed inwards, breaths taken for two. Others step up to fill the space I am creating by my emptiness. Where my identity was forged in capability, now it is erased and reformed in presence. Being surrounded by trembling bodies during the ‘scary parts’. Arms outstretched more frequently to seek hugs from my increasingly stationary being.
We are becoming. A void forming to make space for new life. I pause to soak it all in.
This post is inspired by the Five Minute Friday writing challenge. Each week I join with this talented group of writers, free writing for five minutes in accordance with a prompt. Today’s prompt is ‘empty’.
8 comments
Praying for you as delivery day draws nearer. So excited to hear your news. I’m over in the 43 spot this week.
Thanks Tara! Sorry I’ve been absent for a bit – really appreciate your prayers – I think they made a big difference xx
Praying for blessings on your growing family. Your new “neighbor” from FMF
Thanks so much, Karmen – great to meet you!
You’re so close! I like that you titled the post prelude – sets the mood for something new and something great! Lots of strength as you wait and hope!
So, so good to be on the other side now! And you are right – it was the beginning of something new and amazing, Harvey was very much worth the wait xx
Emma,
it was the most curious thing for my older two when I delivered their baby sister. They wanted to know if the baby was still in my tummy.
No, mommy’s tummy is empty.
(never mind the jellyfish of jiggle that is initially present)
🙂 They were mystified and in wonder. I don’t think they could understand that “baby” didn’t mean “Basketball”.
This is beautifully woven and I’m so thankful that you have those able to surround you with support as you approach this miraculous journey!!
Love,
Tammy
(#2 this week)
It is so magical and mysterious, the process of growing a baby! I think I become more mystified each time, if anything – wondering how the growing humans in front of me could have begun in the exact same way… Really appreciate your kind thoughts xx