It used to scare me a little. The complete peace – disturbed only by the subtle hum of appliances – was too exposing, too raw.
Even now, I move quickly to flick on a podcast, to browse through Spotify playlists to set a mood. A mood other than the utter expanse of nothingness.
What is it that scares me? My thoughts, swirling and careening in lightning pulses? The lack of stimulation? The thought that I could be wasting the time if I’m not relentlessly multi-tasking?
Silence reveals me. It shows my true colours and the heartbeat that undergirds my choices, emotions. My first dabble is the process of eating. Slowly, savouring each salty and tangy mouthful. I stare curiously at the fork, allowing my mind to wander to the origins of this crunchy pickle, that creamy slice of Edam cheese.
In the midst of the experience, my mood shifts. Gratitude emerges. I see myself as a small piece in the magnificent expanse of the exploding and vivid universe. My worries and stresses become less pulsing – more muted – as I sit, breathe, eat…and notice.
I’m trying something new this month – #Write31Days with a talented community of other writers. We free write for five minutes (or more) each day guided by a prompt. Today’s prompt is ‘silence’.
For more information on 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes, check out Christina Hubbard’s site!
8 comments
Nope, couldn’t wait til I got to your number to read your posts. I’ve been reading numerically. So, you got me with the slice of Edam. But I can’t believe you don’t like to walk? But there’s yoga:) I like being small too.
Oh whoops I hadn’t meant to post this one yet! I got confused with the American timezones that WordPress is in and mixed it up 😉 I know – it felt like a bit of a confession about walking, one of my friends is making it her mission to make me like it!
Ok I was thinking I was a day behind you! I too am often uneasy with the silence on the offchance it actually comes. So much good happens in the silence though. Love your words and your heart, friend!
Woo! Online at the very same time as you! Yeah ignore this post until tomorrow haha… I’m going to blame it on pregnancy brain!
Pregnancy brain? Congratulations! I wish I didn’t relate to this post as much as I do because it convicts me. I feel like I ALWAYS have to multitask and I always have to be listening to something. I don’t do silence well, but I am going to work on that.
Only recently announced so you haven’t really missed anything 🙂 Glad to hear that I’m not the only one who chafes at the silence… definitely something I want to get better at!
Very well-written, thoughtful post, Emma.
I found that life experience led me to Zen, Zen led me to stillness, and in that stillness I lost myself, and became a mirror.
It’s fun, being a mirror.
http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2016/10/your-dying-spouse-215-caregivers-bill_4.html
ooh very deep – I love it! I have a long way to go clearly 😉